Monday, September 21, 2015

Advice for Every Mom

Really this is for every mom, soon-to-be mom, anyone who wants to be a mom and even dads, soon-to-be dads, you get the point. This is something we all need to pay attention to. I myself have done it, especially since becoming a mom.

When we announced that we were pregnant last year it soon started.......all the "advice". Now before you go get all defensive on me just hear me out. It's not that advice isn't appreciated or that it isn't wanted it's how you deliver it. Please, do not TELL. Rather offer or suggest.... "you might want to try this or have you considered xyz". I cannot count the number of times I heard, "Oh you got to do this" or "You should use x" or "this will work, don't use that". Listen, I know it worked for you and your kid, family, whatever, but just because it works for you does not mean that it will work for my kid or be the best solution for my family. 

Think about your pregnancy. Think about your labor and delivery. Think about your recovery. Think about how you raised your kid, are raising your kids. Do you think this is how it went for every other single female/family out there? No, so why do we think our solution is always best? Because it worked for us. Not your co-worker or sibling or best friend.

We are all different. Let's just respect that and not try to force "what worked for me" on everyone else.

I also want to point out, before I get berated, that I am not saying you should not offer advice. I'm not saying you shouldn't try to help and I'm not saying that you shouldn't care. I'm actually trying to enforce the opposite. That we should care, love and help- by offering. Offer your advice, help, etc. However, if it is not how that person chooses to do things be OK with it and let it go and help the way they choose. Is this really so hard?

Again, I'm not saying I'm innocent in this either. I have caught myself  on several occasions offering telling this unwanted advice because, oh guess what I'm a mom now and I went through that and this is how we survived so this is what you need to do too.

Did I really just tell this pregnant person she should do X when it wasn't so long ago you were griping about people doing just that?

Yep, there I was, the offender. On the other side, the one the preggos complain about. So, I now offer any long as it's wanted. Pay attention to social cues people. It will save your time and 

This post was not intended to put down anyone, but simply to bring the issue to our attention. If we would all heed this advice maybe we could become a little more helpful rather than judgmental.

Hope y'all have a great one.

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