Thursday, January 29, 2015

Mommy Meltdown


This mommy business is tough. Seriously, if you think it's all mushy moments filled with love and adoration or splendidly rewarding 24/7 you are dead wrong. I have never been challenged so much emotionally, physically or mentally in my entire life and I only have 1 child who has only been in existence for the past 10 months, yeah that's right.


To affirm the above paragraph I found myself in the kitchen having my own temper tantrum over the holidays- like total melt down. Baby screaming, me screaming, it' wasn't pretty and I'm not proud of it but I'm being honest here. I work a full-time job and my commute one-way is 1 hour and 15 minutes. That's 2.5hours on the road each day and hubby, for the most part, isn't at home to help at night. (b/c of his job not b/c he is a flake) Add all that up and it doesn't leave much spare time to you know, actually do stuff. This in turn leads to my mommy meltdown.


I have, however, learned in the past 10 months that I do not have all the answers and that I do not have this mommy thing completely figured out and that there just aren't enough hours in the day... and that is perfectly all right.
Listen, I would love to have the perfect little house in tidy condition 24/7. I would love to have 2 hours to dedicate to my blogging/photos each day. Heck, I'd love to just have 2 hours a day to do whatever it is that I want needs to be done. You see I love order. I like routine. I like to plan. I like to be "in the know." I like a clean house and I like for things to be organized. As of lately I am coming to terms that all of this well, "just ain't gonna happen". My house does not stay clean, I feel unorganized as much as I feel organized, I constantly feel as if I am trying to stay organized. I worry that I need to be exercising. I'm trying to plan a menu. Then I'm trying to find time to cook the meals on the menu. I am sleep deprived. I wish for more sleep. When I am in bed I am not sleeping because I think about all the other things that I need to be doing. Or I find myself writing imaginary blog posts that never happen because I don't jot them down and then forget about them the next morning because, hello? who has time to stop and write down thoughts before the day gets going?
You do? Really? Then please help. I don't have all the answers. Perhaps you would like to share yours, I'm not kidding. I'm all ears. If any of you out there would like to share how you stay on top of things/ plan your day/ get organized, etc. please type away. Or if you would just like to say I feel your pain and let loose your own frustration then by all means, type away my dear. You have a sister who understands.
I try, really I do. There are days when I feel like I have my ducks in a row but then there are others when I feel like my head is just above water. I'm just learning to go with it and not stress about things out of my control. How about you? How do you deal? What's your answer? How do you avoid those Mommy Meltdowns?

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